"In the middle of the night, I may watch you go
There'll be no value in the strength of walls that I have grown
There'll be no comfort in the shade of the shadows thrown
But I'll be yours if you'll be mine
Stretch out my life and pick the seams out
Take what you like, but close my ears and eyes
Watch me stumble over and over"
Mumford & Sons, Lover of the Light
The ninth of August came and went like the ocean tide undulating back and forth between the sandy shore and the horizon line.
And I forgot.
I forgot that heartbreaking day two years ago when she left in the shadows of the early morning sun.
I've spent two lonely years trying to remember the light and here this day came and by God's miraculous hands he cleared my mind. I'm still stumbling through trying to begin anew each and every day, but I'm beginning to see the light through the rain.
This marks the second year of heading to my brother's house on the North Carolina coast as a family of five. Last year's trip felt so different. I was consumed by her spirit all around me. I wrote about it here. This year we felt the sun and the rain. We saw the sand and the sea. We ventured out along the coast and visited the places that make us happy. This is our sanctuary. A place tucked away from the busy. A place of peace.
Here I feel close to her. She calls to me. She wraps her arms around me. She's with me and with my children that she so adored.
So when you look into the shadows and the light you'll see her too. She's always calling me home.